Difficult Things Are Not Difficult Anymore...

“Pregnancy is a journey. At the end a woman gives birth not only to a baby, but also to her own identity as a mother.” — Gayle Peterson.

Nowadays, being a Mother takes great expectations and responsibilities. It does not mean that the mere fact you have conceived, earns you the title to be called, "Mother". Just like respect, you need to earn it. As I am going through this journey, I have come to realize how difficult it was for my mama to raise all six children. I am the eldest and a witness to all the hardships and sacrifices she endured for us to survive competently in this world. I actually grew up closer to my papa and arguing most of the time with mama. We have opposite taste in style, fashion, people, food, decision makings and on a lot of things. But definitely, as one grows older, stronger, lessons have been learned, the only person in the world who  helped me to stand up was not the people that I expected to be there but my mama. She was right, you can never understand why, until you have become yourself a mother.


I have been continuously reminding my younger siblings on how important respect is. Especially when it comes to my parents. Mama usually has this attitude of being funny most of the time, making mistakes - funny ones, she have tried reaching out to my younger siblings which was far different when I was younger. I have both parents being strict and discipline was expected at all times. Reality is, we were so precious to them and they wanted us to be stronger people in this kind of society. So that when the time comes that they are no longer there to back us up, we can be strong enough to stand on our feet and nobody can pull us down as we have a great foundation.


Since Eric is not around, I have my mama and papa to me give support - emotionally, physically, but not financially. I never ask for money. I knew that I am an adult, who earns my own money and it is important to be financially independent. I go to work by having parents drop my by to Eastwood, Libis everyday. I appreciate everything - how they value this pregnancy, their first grandchild. They attend to my cravings, such as cooking the viand that I want for lunch and dinner. I even cooked Carbonara for the first time last Sunday afternoon and everyone at home ate and gave great compliments just to make me happy. I have never felt closer to my family until this time. 

I thank them for everything. I may not be the ideal eldest daughter that they have but they continuously support all my decisions and guide me towards a good path during this difficult journey. I am blessed, and if all women who are currently experiencing the same journey towards motherhood, having all the support makes it easier, worthwhile and memorable. 

Waiting for the new member of the family is a fulfilling experience especially if you knew that the whole family is expecting.


Here is my most recent ultrasound. Now at 13 weeks and 4 days. My sister, Hannah scanned this for me. Dr. Bascara advised 7 days of bed rest with Isoxilan (3x a day for 40 days) to prevent uterine contractions - which was really painful especially at work. I came back and she requested for another ultrasound to check the baby's health and my cervix.

I may not be the perfect daughter in the world, but I will strive to be a good mother to my child. Cheers to life!

My First Trimester of Pain

I was looking for a good doctor. I told myself, I don't want to an elderly doctor, I mean I want a doctor who's quite younger than my mom. I want to be more open to what and how I feel, my fears, my thinking and ideas. My mom suggested to consult her Obstetrician, Dr. Bascara. She was my mom's doctor when she gave birth to Harold, my younger brother last 1989. At that time, she was earning her residency at San Juan De Dios Hospital. I attended college at San Juan de Dios as well, and I know that they have great doctors.

I went there with my mom. Her office is at Room 13, Doctor's Offices, Second Floor. Her schedule was almost everyday but I chose 9am to 12 noon since I am still working on a night shift. She's a tall woman, late early 40's (I think), very friendly and make you comfortable at all times. Before she does any procedure, she will tell you what it is, why is there a need to do that - to set your expectations and will educate you on a lot of things. She is personally taking care of her patients. That is how I feel even on my first appointment. She definitely knows how you feel but she also knows how to listen to you. So I expressed how I hated having nausea, head ache, lower abdominal pain (which was not normal), good thing I do not vomit. She understand how precious my pregnancy is and doing everything to take care of my and the baby. Her professional fee for consultations is 400 pesos.

Since it was the first appointment, and Internal Examination was needed so she can check your cervix and ultrasound to have a good estimate of the age of gestation (AOG) of the baby and the expected date of delivery (EDD). Cost of laboratory procedures are more costly since I am availing of private consultations. I had to do some laboratory work-ups such as test for glucose as diabetes runs in the family, CBC and urinalysis.

So here is my baby's ultrasound. AOG was 11 weeks and 2 days, my EDD will be on September 8, 2012. I was asked to comeback a week after.

Eric is currently in Abu Dhabi so I needed to scan it and send it to his Facebook page. He was so happy to see it. We are looking forward to a healthier pregnancy this time.

And Here We Go Again...

The start of 2012 was great. I am in a relationship for 9 years now. Eric was just waiting for a call from the agency for his departure to Abu Dhabi. He had a great opportunity to work there for 2 years for a food and beverage company. At the same time, I was just promoted as a Learning Instructor Supervisor (Training Supervisor from being a Trainer) for the company that I am currently working for almost 2 years. I was thinking, this is a good way to start the year - lots of opportunities to grow and to earn money. Besides, both of us are not getting any younger, and I was waiting for us to have some plans in taking a more advance step regarding the status of our relationship. You know, nowadays, as women, it's difficult to start a conversation about settling down in the near future with our partners. I don't want to sound too attached not hurrying to tie the knot, but sometimes, you feel like you don't want to wait anymore. (I hope some of you can relate somehow.)

Eric was kidding around most of the time that he will be leaving me pregnant - so that I wouldn't have the time to go out with friends and have some beer on Saturdays, as that was how I usually spend weekends. I was thinking, no way! I have a poor OB history, I had a miscarriage last 2003 - 7 weeks pregnant, then on 2005, I had a premature labor and my baby girl, Mikee, died on the same day. Doctors stated that her lungs weren't fully developed for her to survive, Eric and I went crazy for months, being depressed. I spent the first month visiting the cemetery everyday. She should be turning 7 years now... We need to cope with that downfall and finally, I was again, pregnant last 2007. We were happy until I bled. I had an ectopic pregnancy of 7 weeks so my right fallopian tube was removed and we again lost and angel. I never questioned God why, instead, I thanked him for keeping me alive. I knew that there was a reason, and His purpose. Eric and I are not religious, but we pray and believe in Him in our own little ways.

Days and months passed and we took care of each other. It was a Monday morning, I spent the weekends at Eric's house, (we're not living together, I still stay at my parents' house) I woke up not feeling well and noticed the calendar. I asked him to buy me a pregnancy kit test since I realized that I am a week delayed on my scheduled period. I am a Nursing Graduate. We practiced natural family planning method since day one. I have memorized my cycle but I was doubtful this time, and scared. It costs 70 pesos and I ran the test with having Eric step out of the room. As I was waiting for the lines to be cleared, I can hear my heart pounding as loud and as fast as I can ever imagine. Positive. Again. What am I going to do? I panicked but Eric came and was happy about everything. His plan of leaving me pregnant was a success. I am happy but scared. I hope everything will be alright.